I have been making a mental list of pointless things. Jostling for top spot are contenders such as reality TV shows/stars or winners, and football manager,s but as neither of these directly affect me I am inclined to ignore them. One thing that I find increasingly pointless though, and therefore the cause of much frustration, is packaging. I realise the savvy amongst you will lecture me upon the importance of product presentation and market placement but I would argue that if I buy a new toothbrush I don’t factor in the extra half hour needed to get it out of its wrapper. Use scissors you say? Have you tried getting those critters out of a packet – it’s a good job you don’t need a toothbrush for that job or we’d be here all night – hole meet bucket scenario!
Hubby is a bit of a closet shopaholic and a gadget nut so there are often delivery van drivers at the door bearing armfuls of cardboard. Christmas was particularly exciting with almost daily visits. The beautiful decorations tastefully place in the conservatory with our small yet perfectly formed tree were somewhat hidden by the mounting stack of cardboard and its various accompaniments. I am sure there is some eminently clever professor somewhere who has a formula for this activity:
Product times miles delivered squared by weight of item plus parcel tape divided by number of hours required to get into said item equals wasted time over spilt coffee to the root of swearing!
I am also sure that there is a warehouse full of little elves working for the likes of Amazon (other online shops are available) who play packaging roulette. 1) Get item to be sent, 2) Get box of completely different proportions 3) Fill with really annoying pieces of foam that create static whilst in transit thus ensuring that, upon release, they stick to every possible surface including the cat, 4) Hide item that consumer is expecting at the bottom so all foam pieces must be ejected before item can be received. It is at this point that you realise the need for a really good vacuum cleaner to collect up the pieces – imagine the box that’s going to arrive in!
It’s not all bad though. Some clever companies are now using shredded packaging to stuff their boxes with whilst others are using bags of air that arrive like giant ravioli and send the already traumatised cat into meltdown as you have to pop them all before putting them in the bin!
So please, dear producer, in an era where we are encouraged to think carefully as a consumer about where and how we buy everything from minced beef to socks, and books to vacuums, let us, shall we say, ‘box clever’ about how our products are shipped to the door – I’m not sure the cat can take much more!