Have you ever had one of those moments when all of a sudden you seem very grown up and you aren’t sure what happened or when? It’s not just the mortgage and the bills and the car stuff and insurance, it’s the little things that creep up on you. I am well aware of the fact that I’m supposed to be a grown up. I have two almost adult children (one in age and one in mentality) and my husband and I are going to celebrate our silver wedding this year and believe you me nothing says, “Oh my God, where have the years gone?!” like a precious metal anniversary!
I’m talking about habits and behaviours that denote that it is you who is supposed to be the sensible one. Let me give you some examples: washing bedlinen before you use it rather than putting on the slightly starch, chemical smelling new set you have just treated yourself to. Making your own dentist appointment every six months and sticking to it. Being pleased with yourself for knowing some of the answers on Mastermind or University Challenge and actively looking forward to the next series of Midsomer Murders. Freezing leftovers instead of leaving them to go off at the bottom of the fridge, and planning your meals for the week ahead. Choosing your next car on boot space and emissions rather than ‘coz it’s red and looks like it’s smiling’. Looking out the window to discover it’s a lovely breezy sunny day and the first thing that goes through your mind is “Ooh, I’ll get the towels done”. Criticising other people’s driving and sitting at exactly the speed limit just to be bloody minded.
Is there a specific point in our lives when we become sensible? Is it the responsibility of children, relationships, or careers? Or is it just an acceptance thing where we have made our mistakes, our dodgy decisions, destructive and unsuccessful relationships – both personal and professional – and the draw of a bit of stability is just too tempting.
Does being sensible mean being steady? I don’t think so, I can still take risks, make snap decisions (not always wisely) and mess things up but with the benefit of age and, may I suggest, a little wisdom it is how we deal with the cock-ups that make us grown up. Being able to admit when you are wrong or actually listening to that voice in your head when it says “Really?!” and doing stuff because it is the grown-up thing to do rather than stamping your feet like a petulant child (because that’s what you’d really like to do).
So, whilst I’ll never be grown up enough to actually be on Mastermind, I have learned to sometimes take a breath, maybe assess the situation, give it some thought, or even defer it for another more suitable time and if that makes me a sensible, grown-up human being then I’m proud of myself.