As much as we might like the idea of doing things spontaneously, it’s amazing how many of us prefer to be creatures of habit.
I watch people every day. The dog walker who goes by at 7am, and another one just after 8am. I clock the person who sets off on their morning walk and then returns about twenty minutes later.
I know there are some things which we have to do – like go to work or take the children to school, but how many of us go to the same shop at the same time every week? It’s so easy to go to the same place – we know our way round and can have a good moan if the item we’re looking for isn’t in its right place on the shelves. We call at the same pub or cafe every week, sometimes even taking the same seat at the bar or by the window – I suppose at least people know where to find us!
My father very much liked order. Sunday lunch had to be on the table at 12.45pm, and he was most put out if it wasn’t served on time. After my mother passed away I always popped in for a cup of tea on a Friday evening for a chat and to pick up his shopping list. I worked full time and had three children (and a husband) but if I had not arrived by 6pm he would be on the telephone (the landline – this was before the advent of mobile phones) to see where I was. Again, Saturday morning he would be annoyed if I was not at his house at 10.30am with his shopping and the time for a cup of coffee.
My husband’s parents went to the same place in Italy, on the same two weeks every year for more than 30 years. I don’t’ blame them – we’ve been and it’s a beautiful part of the world in which to relax and unwind. I guess for them it was all about ease and familiarity. Life is so much better when we feel in control and comfortable with our surroundings.
In my day-to-day life I do try to vary what we do, but we find life so much less complicated if we have routine, and it causes us less stress. Small things, like I receive a phone call every week on the same day at the same time, and if it’s late I start to worry. Even the postman contributes to routine – if he isn’t here between a certain time we start to think something has happened!
I suppose the whole world runs on routine. Trains and meetings are scheduled, trips to the supermarket are planned, cups of coffee and glasses of wine are mostly enjoyed at the same time every week. What would happen if everything ran higgledy-piggledy? No one would know when to run for the bus, but would it hurt us to do our shopping on a different day? Or meet a friend for coffee somewhere else and at a different time?
Routine makes us feel in control, but maybe – just occasionally – we should try something different. It might feel a bit strange, but perhaps it would be good for us?