I love watching the dynamics of a good relationship. Allow me to explain – Mr and Mrs Average approach the counter of the coffee shop. They have been shopping, he has carried the bags whilst she has decided which shops to go to. He drove the car while she pointed out every available parking space when they arrived at the multi-storey. She asked his opinion when she found the perfect birthday gift for her sister and when he wasn’t quick enough to respond she said, “You’re right – I’ll see if they have it in blue”.
He is tired and bored and really wants to be at home in his shed tinkering with things she neither likes nor understands. She is first to the coffee counter and takes charge of the situation. “Shall we have tea?,” she asks him knowing full well that they always have tea at this time in the afternoon. “That would be lovely,” he replies dragging himself back from his mental trip round the shed. “And cake?,” she continues. “Mmmm, a scone perhaps?,” he suggests, hoping that making a decision will quicken the process. “Are you sure, you’d like a toasted teacake better …,” comes her reply. “Ok, a teacake will do nicely.” “…Or a piece of Victoria sponge…?,” “Fine, Victoria sponge would be lovely,” he sighs, realising once again that even when he does make a decision it is rarely the right one.
He is now desperate to move on and sit down, and really doesn’t care what he has with his tea. She is paying with the £10 note he handed her and sets off with the tray, while he follows behind in her wake. “Where would you like to sit?,” comes her next question. “I don’t mind my dear, wherever you like.” He traipses after her with the bags becoming increasingly heavy. She surveys not only the available seating but also the quality of the occupants in the adjacent seats. Is it someone she could strike up an amusing conversation with or someone who seems to have an aversion to showering? Finally computing all data she heads for a table on the left and he settles in beside her. Easing his cramping fingers from the handles of the numerous reusable cotton bags with various garden birds and creatures on that she kept producing from her one handbag, he allows her to pour the tea and halve the cake so they can share.
He sits silently while she talks through the various purchases they have made as if he wasn’t there when they happened. She passes him his tea and tops up the cup when it gets half empty. To the casual observer this scenario may seem dull or even mundane, but I see it on a daily basis and have come to realise it is the rock upon which we are built. Steady, unwavering relationships are a thing to be celebrated. Not tested or challenged, questioned or judged – just appreciated and cherished for the strength they bring to society. Things don’t always have to be loud, brash and attention-grabbing. There isn’t always a need for fireworks and brass bands; sometimes just getting on with it from day to day with the person you love and chose to spend your life with really is the best way to go.